Wednesday, May 11, 2011

House Votes Obama Praise for Osama Kill, Suggests Air-Dropping President over Kandahar to Aid in Fight Against Taliban

In a rare move, the Republican-controlled House of Representatives today voted an official commendation to "Rambo Obama" for his elimination of noted terrorist Osama Bin-Ladin "by blowing half his face off, and without recourse to any politically incorrect techniques such as waterboarding." The resolution goes on to praise Obama's "fierce warrior ways and far-seeing vision" and includes a special emergency defense appropriation in the amount of $1 million to be used to airdrop "our fierce warrior President over Kandahar, Afghanistan at the earliest possible opportunity."

Responding to budgetary concerns, the bill's sponsors noted that $1 million is "far below the cost to taxpayers of the average Obama family vacation, even when its just Michelle and her friends" and added that "if necessary we can airdrop her over Kandahar as well," leading to further savings. "By airdropping the President, his wife, her mouth and her Gorgon-like visage into Kandahar, we strike an immediate blow against the Taliban, and also free up several Navy Seal teams for urgent tasks elsewhere."

At a recent fund-raising event, handlers explained that the President was too busy pan-handling fat-cats and bragging about Osama's demise to issue a response on the newly-passed bill. Asked upon boarding if he was aware of Air Force One's next destination, Obama replied only that he "thought we were headed to some sort of talk show, or rapper event". The current wereabouts of Air Force One are not known at this time.

(Please Credit: Fizzdesigns-Parody New Service)