Friday, February 12, 2010

Some of My Best Friends are Capitalists, Obama Says

Moving to refute his growing reputation as a left-wing, socialist radical, Barack Obama used a recent interview with Bloomberg News to emphasize his sympathy and understanding for the capitalist money-earner. "While I have never done an honest days work in my life," Obama stated, "I have the greatest admiration for the accomplishments of those who do work.. I can assure you that I don't have a prejudiced bone in my body. Hey, some of my best friends are capitalists," Obama stated, adding that exposure to capitalists throughout his life had made him more sympathetic to the unfair stereotypes afflicting members of this class. "Not all capitalists wear top hats and tuxedos like that character in the Monopoly game, some of them wear hiker shoes or baseball caps, so that you can hardly tell them from ordinary people," Obama continued, "in fact I have observed that capitalists are often very ingenious in the ways they come up with for accumulating money. As long as they follow strictly all government directives, pay whatever taxes and fees may be demanded from time to time, and don't forget their place or get too uppity, capitalists have nothing to fear from the Obama regime."

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